1 DEC
December 12
Loving Difficult People
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”
Luke 6:27
Reflection
I recently spent 6 months at Alnmouth Friary as an alongsider, living with the Brothers as a volunteer. I wanted to experience Franciscan community from the inside, to find out what it is really like. As Timothy Radcliffe OP says in his insightful book Sing a New Song, when people are asked what they most like about religious life they say “living in community”; when asked what they most dislike, they say “living in community”!
Living in community taught me that those I find most “difficult” to live with usually show me something difficult about myself. A Brother who often shows his anger shows me how much I repress my emotions. A guest who seems excessively friendly with everyone grates at me, perhaps, because I do not feel the same kindness towards others. A volunteer who seems overly pious and demanding reminds me of the lack of discipline in my spiritual life.
The challenge of loving these “difficult” people (and isn’t everyone, in some sense, “difficult”?) is the challenge to love them as ourselves. If we can show them a little grace, we might discover how much God would still love us if we were – shock, horror! – a little more like them.
Matt Stemp
is a postulant of the Society of St Francis, currently living at Hilfield Friary.
He is a difficult person to live with!
Reflective Action
HUMBLE SERVICE
Undertake in a quiet, humble gesture of service – like setting a place at the table, tidying unnoticed, or offering a word of encouragement for someone who irritates or misunderstands you.
Let your action be a silent blessing.
Franciscan Quote
A servant of God cannot know how much patience and humility he has within himself as long as he is content. When the time comes, however, when those who should make him content do the opposite, he has as much patience and humility as he has at that time and no more.
(The Admonitions XIII : Patience)
Prayer
God of mercy,
grow patience in me
when comfort fails.
Let your love
shape me
even in hard places.
CULTURAL insight
ITALY
In many towns and villages across Umbria, praesepi viventi – living nativity scenes – are staged during Christmastime.
Sometimes these are grand medieval pageants with the crib at the centre; other times, they are full re-enactments of the Christmas story. I remember one occasion when “King Herod” burst into laughter, realising he was angrily addressing a crowd of bemused English pilgrims!
A particularly moving celebration took place in the square outside Santa Maria degli Angeli, recreating the 1223 Greccio nativity. Another memorable scene unfolded in Rivo Torto, where children enacted A Christmas Carol around the village– I did wonder if the Italians knew the story! At Christmas Mass across Italy, a life-sized baby doll lies before the altar. After the service, the priest holds it aloft and leads a procession to the church crib for a blessing.
One year at the Carceri above Assisi, the priest led us outdoors to a stone altar where Mary stood beside Joseph, the Christ Child in her arms. Each of us was invited to venerate the child with a touch or a kiss.
And always, there is feasting. I remember one extraordinary Christmas meal at San Damiano, welcomed into a private part of the friary for joyful celebration.
Ann Leigh TSSF
European Province
A Glimpse of wonder
“Now we see in a mirror dimly, but then we shall see face to face.”
Luke 6:27
developmental markers
week 20
In the womb
- Size: ~16–17 cm (6.5 inches), banana-sized
- Can hear and respond to sound
- Gender (if known) may be visible on scan
- Baby’s movements are stronger and more coordinated
in the mother
- Anatomy scan often scheduled this week in some countries
- Growing sense of bonding through visibility
- Stretching skin, back strain, and emotional shifts common
reflection
At the halfway point of pregnancy, many parents around the world receive a much-anticipated glimpse into the hidden world of the womb. Through the blurred light and shadow of a scan, fingers, toes, a tiny spine, and a forming face appear. What has been growing in mystery is seen, if only in part. Movements grow stronger, responses to sound become clearer, and the bond deepens – both with what is seen and with all that remains unseen.
This moment speaks of wonder- partial, fragile, yet real. It reminds us that revelation rarely comes fully formed. Like those who journeyed far to glimpse the Christ child, we often see only in part, catching glimpses of what God is doing in the world and in us.
These glimpses are enough to move us deeper into love. Advent invites us to live in this holy tension – seeing in part, longing for more, trusting that even in the mystery, God is at work. Every glimpse, every movement, every heartbeat draws us nearer to the One who is already drawing near to us.
wonderings:
I wonder what it feels like to be seen and loved at the same time
I wonder what God sees in me when I can’t see myself clearly
Journaling Prompts
If you keep an Advent Journal, here are some ideas you could write about;
Think of someone you find difficult to love – Without judgement, write about what it is that you find challenging.
Now gently ask: What might this person be revealing to me about myself?
Is there a mirror here – a hidden insecurity, a fear, a longing?
Draw the outline of a mirror and write a short prayer for this person.
Then write one for yourself.
Italy
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